MARGO-was-here

I feel her.
Her spirit bores inside me,
Looking into my every weakness
Always out doing me
In everything.
All she has to do is try
I work harder than her to get where I am,
But I feel like I'm still here.
No where.
I scream and shout
But its not like anyone will listen
They're to busy,
Paying attention to the other one
The darker side of me
The one that is smarter
But If they knew what I knew
The one that has a life going for her
And I'm the other one
The one that can't compare
The one thats here.
I am a person to.
The brighter side of your day.
Maybe the world is to consumed in darkness to see the light.

Although I dont really see.
What they see.
When I look into those demon eyes,
I see evil.
You know,
Shes that person that would always be watching your every move.
Smirking
Because she thinks she better than you.
You could say shes a twin.
But, I like to prefer call her
"Her".

So, This will be another quick one, knowin im leaving in a few minutes...
But lately everyone thinks I'm mad at them or something. Its really getting on my nerves. and Im confused if I really sound mad at people.
Plus today I missed my orthodontists appointment, so yay me xD
... But It was really weird. And Crazy, Like even my best friends know I dont usually act like this.. I mean, Its not like im going through depression,..
But now I'm kinda wondering..
Is this the begining to my downfall?
Those words. They keep repaeating themselfs in my head over and over. Keeping my wondering.
Is this the begining to my downfall?
I think that would be a good poem title,... I should start writting poetry. I feel like poetry sparks peoples minds and inspires them.
Well, I will write one tonight. I guess, and Mayb I'll post it tomarrow. It may be abit awkward and probly abit bad.. But I dont really care, Im in the poetry mood.
That remind me, So I saw this new movie "Mama" last night. I guess it was pretty good, I mean, Ive seen things better, but, Ive seen things worse. And its abit funny because at the begining, they drove off a clif, and a girl in the back goes, "They just drove off the cliff." and I go " NO DIP SHERLOCK." It was funny. And its a good things those girls didnt know me.. Cuzz' that would be pretty bad.
Haa Im going to go now, byee~

So I know I havent written in awhile, and im sorry about that, but what is there to write about..
Today was not that good. I now Have a lowered self confedince.
I didnt ge accepted on to the color gaurd team. AGAIN.
I dont even know why I keep trying.. Well.. I should stop, But Im not. That coach needs to know that even a girl like me has potential! He knows I've tried out before, and he obiously knows how determined I am to do this, So wth?
..Am I to fat or something? Why does everyone on that team need to be a 'skinny-mini'...
Why do I need to be so fat? I barly even had lunch today. My stomach is going crazy. Should I eat?
I need something to distract me while Im loosing wieght, maybe I could stop eating, But Thats obiously not the answer. I dont want to do that because then I might get sent off or something...
....Im not even sure if anyone reads this... Why does life need to have to many questions? I am sorry if this will be short, but , Im going to draw now.

Well.. This day has been pretty crappy. I didn't sign up for this. I hate him. So much now. Am I to fat or something? Well.. I think I am now.. DERPIES. Wtf. ... I was so warned about him to. That guy I liked, You know, Johnny, The one I told you about in the prolouge, is such an asshole.
You see, I want to the mall with my sister and my best friend Cameron. We invited Johnny. They have'nt even known each other for a day, and BAM. He kisses her.
Im going to loose it.
Im going to loose it all. All my fat. I dont care if I end up having to stop eating. Fat people Dont get dates. Lesson Learned: Today. I just don't get it. This love thing.
LOVE JUST ISN'T REAL. Maybe for some people it is. But not for me.
Have I even told my name to you? It's Margo. Just so you know.
...That was random. My ADHD has been acting up.. Well.. Back to what I was saying.. Do I have to wear make up or something for someone to talk to me? I think I look just fine with out makeup... Can anyone help me out here? No. Because I can never shout out my emotions. If I shout out my emotions, someone will end up unhappy. I cant be an asshole to people. I dont want any drama.
Why can't I just get rid of it. I hate it. It's like a demon on your body that you can't get rid of, or scars on your arm you dont want anyone to see but they still end up finding out about them.
My emotions are raging. All of those words and snickers of voices.. It's like they are all coming to gang up on me and stab me in the back. Its to overwelming. I can't even tell my older sister because shell blab it about it the whole fricken world. I used to tell her everything. I can't even tell anyone about my problems now. I can deal with it myself. I've dealed with this my whole life. So This is just another bump in the road, nothing I can't handle. I'll get over it.
But on the bright side, I did meet these really cool people over there, one of them were cosplaying as an America from Hetalia, the other was just sort or with her They were like.. The highlight of my day pretty much. xD
...I guess I've pretty much vented out everthing I was holding in.. Im not really sure if I should write any more.

Well Here's my Journal Entry.

I guess I'm going to post here every time I'm thinking about writing, Even though, I'm not a very good writer, And I know I don't have the best spelling and punctuation. So I'm probably going to end up typing it in Microsoft Word, then pasting it on here, but, you probably think this is getting boring. Well it is the prologue and everything so...

And from the title, you can see I'm overweight.. You probably don't want to hear any of my feelings or anything so if you don't want to listen to my struggle and emotions, then, just stop reading.

I'm in the 9th grade, as you can see, high school. It's made up of at least a dozen of types of people. Populars, emo/goth/scene people, the loners, the nerds, and the MEGA nerds(the people who like anime and cosplay), like me, but, like some, I'm not afraid to show people my true colors, so I can relate to the song "Skin" by Sixxam. A lot. I'm am truly the nicest and funniest person you will ever meet, but no people stick around me long enough to see how I truly am... Well this isnt really relating to the title.. but it will, trust me.

...Trust, Another thing I want to talk about, I can't trust anyone. I haven't from the start, and in the past, I've just been reassuring myself. Only Trust yourself. People can be mean. I go to a huge school, so I can hear the snickering of people in the hall ways, either about their boyfriends or girlfriends. Well their relationships arnt going to last long anyway.. They should be lucky. I cant get a boyfriend.. Well I kinda like my friend Johnny, But I think it will get awkward if we ever dated, and i dont think he likes me. One reason because I'm fat.

Well I guess you could say there are people bigger than I am, But most people I see are skinny. Sometimes I wish that I could just Shave it off or something. Its really Sad when the person behind you in choir starts to play with the fat at the back of you arm...
It was not even cool..

Well I think I should stop writing, Its nearly 4:00 in the morning. Im going to write some more tomarrow I guess. Hopefully this is better than I think it is,, I dont really have much of a self-confedince,.So.. I guess ill accually go now